Child Custody and Child Support Mediation by OutofCourt Solutions
Oliver Ross: Hi, I’m Oliver Ross. I’m the founder of OutofCourt Solutions, and for the past 18 years I’ve been a full time mediator. Not only more effectively, but also less expensively because child custody, actually, that’s a misnomer now because here in Arizona, the law changed. It’s no longer called custody ’cause custody denotes ownership. And, of course, we don’t own our children. Now, it’s called legal decision making. So what are examples of legal decision making?.
Around their education, what schools do they go to, public schools, private schools, charter schools. Around medical needs for sure. What s do they see? What medicines do they take? It could be around religion. What religion will they be raised in? Those are prime examples of determining what’s now called making major life decisions for minor children. It’s no longer called custody, although I imagine that that term is gonna hang around for a while because it’s been used so frequently in the past. So, it’s my actual blessing to help people go through the collaborative and cooperative process of mediation.
Rather than using two separate lawyers in the adversarial way. Because that’s sure to raise hostility, tension, not to mention cost, whereas mediation at least with OutofCourt Solutions is sure to decrease hostility, tension, and help parents go through divorce or legal separation in a very, very different way than if they were to use two separate lawyers.
Difficult Personalities in a Child Custody Case Los Angeles Child Custody Attorney David Pisarra
Hey Guys David Pisarra here with MensFamilyLaw . Have you got a personality disordered spouse? Is that what we’re dealing with in a a child custody case? Listen up and let’s see what you’ve got. There’s three main problem personality types we deal with in divorce and child custody cases. There’s a manicdepressive and they kinda have an up down problem. they go from being really happy to really sad to really happy to really sad. They’re not that big of a deal when it comes to child custody, then we’ve got the narcissistic. the narcissistic personality is somebody who its all about them. No matter what you’re doing it’s about.
How it affects them. No matter what you’re saying, it’s how they look. No matter what you’re doing, it’s how they’re going to feel. The third most dangerous one that we deal with is the borderline personality. This is somebody that looks at you and in the beginning part of your relationship you probably were the prince charming, you probably were the best thing that ever happened. The most wonderful boyfriend, the most fantastic husband. and along came a child and the focus shifted and when the focus shifted, you suddenly became worthless, useless, the worst thing ever, horrible, the meanest, most inconsiderate, thoughtless, terrible, negligent, incompetent parent of all time. That’s the borderline.
Personality. You’re going from one extreme to the other. You go from Oh My God you’re the best thing ever to, horrible horrendous, terrible parent. The problem that we deal with is, Narcissistic and Borderline personalities can’t really be cured. and they’re very difficult to deal with when we get into court because they’re usually very convincing. They’re very manipulative. They’re very good at making the judge feel like quot;Well they’re just the most concerned parent ever, and you clearly are just a negligent human being.quot; So when we’re dealing with these as parties in a divorce, we frequently have to bring in a psychologist to try and explain what’s going on and we put each side through some testing to figure.
Out what’s really going on and with the personalities and who’s going to be the more stable and loving parent. And who’s really telling the truth. Because oftentimes the really controlling manipulative person is able to spin things so that it looks like you are the one that’s wrong. Even though they are the ones who are at fault. I hope that gives you a sort of a brief overview of what we’re dealing with here with the manic depressive personality, the narcissistic personality and the borderline. I’m not psychologist, so you probably gotta do some research on that but those are generally what we end up in family court, and those are the battles that we have to fight. If you’ve got other questions, you want to talk.
To me about it, feel free to take a look around the website, check out the tutorials and the blogs and give me a call. And remember, a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake will get you through just about everything. Take care.