Hello, my name is Brian Galbraith and I’mthe owner of Galbraith Family Law. We’re a law firm of family law lawyers located inBarrie, Orillia and Newmarket. How does a father get custody of his children? Now, there’sa myth out there that fathers never get custody of their children. This is based on the historicfact that, traditionally, mothers were primarily responsible for the care of children and fatherswere the bread winners. So it made sense, in those days, that thecourt would order custody to the mother since she was the one primarily looking after thechildren anyway. It was in the children’s best interested to be with their mother. Nowadays,both mothers and fathers usually participate
in the care giving and in earning the incomefor the family. As a result the Ontario courts are more inclined to order an equal time sharingregime for the children. If a father wants custody of his children,he needs to prove that it’s in the best interest of the children that he has custody. A strongargument would be that he was traditionally the one responsible or primarily responsiblefor the care, and that he can continue to provide the care that the children want anddeserve. Custody battles are often very nasty. They can take many months and even years toresolve and cost thousands of dollars in legal fees. The children often suffer when there’sa custody battle between their parents. As
a result we prefer to help our clients negotiatea settlement. One of the best processes to do that is calledcollaborative practice. That’s a process where the parties agree not to go to court and theywork with professionals to find a resolution to their petty issues and any other issuesthat they have to resolve related to the separation. It’s a very cost effective process and keepsthe power of decision making in the hands of the parents. Most importantly, it helpsprevent the children from being in the middle of a battle between mum and dad. If this tutorial’s been helpful, give it a thumpsup. And if you’d like to learn more information
or have one of our lawyers help you with yourcustody issues, please go to our website which is GalbraithFamilyLaw. You can book consultationswith one of our lawyers. We help clients with custody issues every day. We can help youtoo. Thank you.
Voice of the Child of Divorce
Dear Mom and Dad, I know that you are hurting.I’m hurting, too. I feel and feed off your tension, fear and shock. Although I’m young and cannot express verbally what is happening in our lives, I’m still feeling the impact. My heart is broken every time I have to give up a parent. My sense of security is lost. Please don’t assume that I am resilient. Please don’t assume that my life will be exactly as it was and that I will continue to feel the same love from both of you. I am a human being just like you. My needs are just like yours. I need love, attention, nurturing, stability, consistency, affection, understanding, patience
and mostly to be wanted. When you fight over me or put me in the middle of your argument, you are sending me the message thatwinning with each other is more important than my life. I am learning from you thatis better to be right than to be loved. You are teaching me that I came from a personwho is unlovable and wrong, and that I am somehow wrong, too. When you confide your hurt in my heart, you are storing up adult pain and robbing me of my childhood. You are taking away my belief that love is unconditional
and replacing it with a message that tellsme to become hard and not to love because I will get hurt and not be able to recover. You may not understand this today, and I am so small that you are not thinking about my future, but you are putting me at a greater risk of getting a divorce myself. At times you are risking my safety to fill a void in your heart. My safety is your job. Without you and your protection I am unshielded from the world. This will manifest in irrational fears for me, because I will stay in a state of fight or flight for most of my life. Someday this initial shock will wear off, but how you choose to parent me through this crisis
will never wear off. I will either feel your sense of selflessness, support and protection, or I will have a scar on my heart with a message that reads, quot;Good things happen to good people.I must be bad.quot; Thoughtfully, The Child of Divorce.